Last year as I was talking to an interesting gentleman, he told me about his several solo adventures and I was impressed, not really by his adventures but by his ability to go for a solo adventure.
“Wow. How do you travel alone?” I asked highly fascinated by him at that point.
We kept on talking and as smart as he was, we both figured out that I was afraid to spend time by myself. You see, I was just coming out of a long term relationship and as people in relationships can concur, one might lose oneself and get into a vicious circle of dependance (which I had).
After ten minutes of further interrogation, I quicky discovered that my greatest fear was that I was boring and therefore felt the need for people to be around me.
In a world full of people you may seldom be subjected to the point where you spend time by yourself and unfortunately as humans we swiftly lose focus of ourselves and other people crowd our lives.
I prayed about my situation and soon spending time with myself became a quick goal of the year, a resolution. I discovered several new things about myself, I learnt to listen to my thoughts I even identified my thinking process. The more I listened to the more aware I became of other people’s feelings. I started sending my friends messages like.
No. How are you really? How is your mind? Your soul? Your body?
Some would of course be puzzled and some would tell me the truth, connecting with people on a much more deeper level became more essential. I discovered my intense love for nature, how I loved working from outside or walking on the grass with my bare foot, I learnt that I loved yoga,I even learnt that I can be a cry baby. Most important,I learnt that its okay to feel feelings.
Of course I made a shit ton of mistakes in the process, so many that I looked myself in the mirror and I questioned my existence, but in return I made great strands in working on my dreams, I quickly learnt the true meaning of hardwork, consistensy, prayer, hope and faith.
I learnt that the world is not as black and white as we may want it to be, but that life is complex and in so many ways, we cannot really explain or control life, I learnt to let go of my fears pain and bitterness because they just held a piece of my heart that needed to be used for something else, something better 😊.
I am not saying I am “super woman” no, not even close, in a day I make so many mistakes that I am constantly calling myself to meetings and encouraging myself to keep moving, because there is really no room to give up, because deep down, I know I can achieve so much more than my eyes can see or my mind imagine by the grace of God. And so I keep pushing.
Self love is beautiful, self care is amazing, constantly reminding yourself to live in the moment is not a bad thing, because we are sometimes overwhelmed by our feelings of worry, anxiety and fear, not that these feelings are supposed to be ignored, no, but we are not supposed to be constantly thinking about the future or the past, we are just supposed to work on the now, because it is the only thing we can actually really control and how we react to the present situations.
Our thoughts of ourselves also directly reflect on the image of ourselves we potray to the world, the more confident a person is, the more positively they speak to themselves, so speak life through your thoughts, the way you speak about yourself should be positive, avoid those people who blow up your candle, its not really about you its about them, the way they think of themselves, bulling is a direct projection of mental weakness.
Never be the person who blows up someone’s candle, always aim to speak light into everyone’s life you touch. Sometimes you may fail, but life is always a daily working process.