Dodu Nims

The world as seen by Nimo!

Creating a Safe Space.

Once upon a time, I thought I was a strong person, someone who had her emotions figured out, a girl who knew what she wanted and went for it. I thought really, I could take anything that hit me, I thought my heart was stronger to take bullets and arrows and still emerge victorious.

Well, as you all guessed I was wrong, so wrong that I refused to believe my heart was broken when I could barely breath. I denied my feelings I betrayed myself and off I dragged my broken heart and we went, to the big cruel world, it had a field day, until I acknowledged my self betrayal, only then, did I start to breathe again. 🙂

Creating a safe space for yourself is one of the most essential things you can do. In my days of wondering about, I let so many people into my space, I had no idea that once you let just about anyone into your life, just about anyone can do just about anything to you, being a giver, a lover of life and a believer in the goodness of people, I found out that I could give just about anyone the emotional support they needed. A friend of mine posted a quote recently saying, if you are a giver please learn the limits because the takers do not have any.😒

I wish my little heart knew this sooner, because just about anyone kept taking all they could grab from me, and my broken heart kept looking for someone to heal it. It wasn’t until I stumbled and looked around and I had to figure out, that my little broken heart needed to dig itself out of this one too, and so we started digging ourselves out of the hole we had created and life had just stood by and watched. Silent. The clean up is calm and exhausting.

Just about anyone was no longer an option according to the million speeches I listened to and several books I read, they needed to go. This was the hardest part for me being a believer in second chances and now I had to cut off several just about anyone’s from my life, but when I finally did it……..

I realized that I eventually had the chance to control my narrative again, life keeps throwing curve balls every now and again, but at least I had cut off the negative derailing voices. I finally began to sweep the trash they had brought into my space, peace, tranquillity, I could breath again. 🥳🥳

I know it is hard, I know it may be painful and I know it may take years to fully tune off some voices from your mind, but creating a safe space for yourself should be one of your goals for your soul this year, a place where you can discover your dark side and your light, and embrace yourself, imperfections and strengths.

A place where you can give yourself room to grow and nourish your innermost beliefs and to dig up those dreams that you buried a long time ago, a place to be able to have a healthy relationship with yourself, so that when you step into the world you may be able to easily filter out the just about anyone who hurt you through their words and actions, a safe space should help you rediscover your inner child again.

In high school, although I did not exactly enjoy my high school years, my safe space was the toilet. Yes, the smelly kind of toilets that required us to take off our pullovers before we got in, due to the pungent smell and the flies minding their own business, after all poop is their business 🤣😅.

Despite these gruesome conditions, I still found ten minutes of joy in the toilet, I would, squat and dream, more often than not encouraging myself that I was there {in high school} for a good reason, I found a safe space despite it being a hard time for me.

I eventually grew to making my safe space something more beautiful, like Saturday afternoons spend under the trees in the field, reading The River Between or Damu Nyeusi, so do not feel sad for me.

I hope you get my point; I hope you get the fact that the people you let into your life can really make or break you. I hope you understand that a place you feel safe is good for your heart and from my toilet story, I hope you understand it doesn’t have to be fancy.

I hope you understand that you are supposed to guard your heart and I hope you understand that it is okay to feel feelings, its okay to acknowledge your hurt even when people expect you to be kimondo strong 24/7.

I hope you understand its okay to take a break when you need to, that it’s okay to be selfish at times and let your heart heal. Till you can breathe again.

Thank you for stopping by. Have a lovely day!

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