He was not what she needed.
Hello. Here is a little story for you because of valentines. Happy Valentines 💕💕.
She met him online, he slid up his foggy glasses full of moisture from the tea, and liked what he saw on her page.
He had to have a strategy, as an artist he knew very well that a solid strategy was integral.
So as he munched his hot chapati and sugarless tea, he thought that maybe he could just dm her, like all her other kiddy peers, and then again he thought that maybe he could come up with a better strategy, he wanted to be recognised, seen, he wanted to create a space, a special place not easily forgotten.
He sent her a dm, imagine after all that! It was just still a dm, he settled for, but then again it wasn’t an ordinary dm, unlike those Indian men who send forbidden pictures as a hello. No, John was a respectful man, he was going in for a win and would settle for nothing less, so the dm was praising her work, her art and how he loved the way she expressed herself.
Captured. She was immediately captured by him, by his thoughts, his crazy insane love for pens, huh😂, she thought he was a descent man.
Not bad….. she smiled slyly as she sipped on her green tea.
They started talking, it was like digging into a well filled with gold coins, they simultaniously loved their perspective of life, despite differing in so much more.It was like discovering an imaginary person created specifically for your heart. They loved sending letters, due to the distance between them and their limited funds, letters became “their thing”.
They talked about art, he gave her the push she needed to keep on following her dreams, she entertained and cheered him on. She loved the idea of a man who could speak his mind, they found something good, they found love, and soon it was apparent that days spend not talking to each other were unbearable, he was her charmer and she was his amusement.
Then tragedy hit home, John started going through some hard times, the kind of hard where you lose people close to you. He loved Sonia, he loved her to the point that he did not want to show this part of himself, the part that was broken, the part that prefered to kept hidden. So, he did what he thought was best he pushed her away, he watched as she tried to reach out for him, but he let go of her hand for safety, he was too scared to lose her through something more grotesque, like her seeing him, and so he let her go, as much as it left a scar.
She couldn’t believe what had just happened, Sonia cried for days, she wished she was like Njeri her sister, who had found love for the first time and stuck to it. John was her love, but she could feel him pull away, the more she tried to talk to him, the more she got hurt, she was angry, it was like she had been given a taste of the sweetest honey, then had it snatched away, just a taste.
She couldn’t believe how unfair he had been to her. She tried pounding on his door knocking crying, she knew what she had done wrong, when he told her he loved her, she had frozen, she couldn’t actually believe him because of her weary broken heart, she couldn’t believe that life had been kind enough to her to serve her another love plate, her doubts led her to freezing, because maybe she really needed some more time to think about it, she was a thinker, she thought, he knew this.
But maybe she did not say it back for her own selfish reasons, she needed time to herself, she had just discovered her passion for art. She thought she needed to give some more space to herself, for her own personal development, her heart was yearning for her passion, she was just discovering, but maybe that was not the real reason she froze,we can never really know, because she says, she herself does not quite understand.
So she let him go, she watched him fade away, her heart yearned for his love, she fell into a comatose, she had to forget her needs and focus on other people’s needs, her heart was broken again, because she opened the door for other voices, and damn! Those voices spoke!
She lost herself in the bubble of society and for a while she could not feel herself breath, she was finally in a deep hole where she stayed, locked herself up and wondered what was the meaning of life.
She quickly realised that no one really gave a f*ck, she realised that everyone was so obsessed with their own self worth or self sabotage that they did not notice her disappearance, even John, he only called once, one of those calls that was just a clear indication that he wanted to confirm she was not dead yet, four months later.
She had to let him go, afterall, she was the soul centre of her own universe, because in everyone’s mind there was just their own universe, she learnt to let go of things she could not control like John’s love or people’s opinions and just focus on her own little universe, and that is where she found freedom, she found God a constant love of her life and above it all she found herself again.
Enjoy your weekend. If you feel alone or if in need of talking to someone, you can always get in touch at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Guard your heart 👑.